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Roadmaps to joy!

Can marriages take place within the same Gotra?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Answers

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji: This time when I went to Haryana, I met some scientists who had done some good research which showcased how their genes were so good because they did not marry within the same Gotra. They demonstrated how maximum medals in sports were won by sportsmen from Haryana. So this is what the research said. Even in animal science this is followed. Also you should not marry siblings or close relatives. So from a scientific point of view this looks logical but then our Gotras are so ancient and have expanded so much that I don't think it is right to put too much weight on it. For instance if you are from the same Gotra but are from Haryana and Tamil Nadu, then it makes no sense to talk about Gotras then. But yes, if your from the same region then it is better to avoid marrying in the same Gotra.

Why is it so difficult to choose a life partner? The one we like doesn't like us, and the one who likes us, we don’t like them.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Satsang

Question: Why is it so difficult to choose a life partner? The one we like doesn't like us, and the one who likes us, we don’t like them.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes this is a serious matter! (laughter) What can I say, this is the way the world is, a little crooked. That’s why, no matter you like or you don’t like, just bear it somehow and move ahead. What is the guarantee that if you like someone today, you will keep liking them tomorrow? If you stop liking them after a year or two, what will you do? Sometimes people stop liking their partner even after marriage? So you never know, you may just not like somebody and start liking them after marriage? So don't be too choosy. Nobody is perfect. Even the other person might be looking for perfection. Are you also perfect? Any relationship, if it is based on how you can make the person happy, then it will work. If you are only focussed on how much happiness you can take from the relationship, then that boat will shake. If you live your life thinking how you can bring happiness to others and improve their lives, then every person you meet in life you will see everyone as one and they will all move along with you. You have the power in you to change others. Don't forget that. You may not be able to change the whole society but you can at least change one or two people! When you can spoil people, you can also improve them. There are so many people who have spoilt their friendships. it happens, everything changes here. So you keep the focus on your Self. Focus on knowledge and meditation.

Don’t try to get over the misunderstanding

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Don’t try to get over the misunderstanding. If there is a misunderstanding, just overlook that.

Educate and ignore. Move forward. Don’t do postmortem, i.e., sit and dig, ‘Why did you say that?’, ‘You don’t love me’, all this garbage is such a waste of time. We dwell into so much emotional garbage. We should throw them all out and have bubbling enthusiasm. You should move with enthusiasm.

If someone lacks enthusiasm, push them into enthusiasm, and do not go on complaining or asking for explanation from people.

To improve family relations you need two things - No Explanations and No Complaints. That’s it. Got it?

Asking explanation from others is a foolish thing. And explaining to others thinking they would understand is another foolish thing. It doesn’t work both ways. The best is to just move forward.

~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

What is my duty?

Duty is what your heart tells you, when you feel ‘This is what I have to do.’ Expectation is what others want you to do. Have a balance between the two. Sometimes you can fulfill the expectations of others, but your duties are what you need to be more concerned about.

~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Marriage

Once, this lady in America was telling that she has been married for 40 years and she has been living with the same husband. The other people present were wonder-struck at how she was living with the same man for 40 years. Then she said if you don’t know how to row one boat, even if you change the boat, you will not know how to row it. I said, ‘This is the story of every family in India and this tradition is there in the villages.’ If you don’t know how to row a boat, changing the boat is no use. That is why, however the people around us are, we have to maintain a good relationship with them and through whatever means and efforts we should nurture the good qualities in others.

~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Is it love

Q: Whenever I see a good looking girl, I find myself in love. Is that love or infatuation?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Well, time will tell you! First, find out whether they are in love with you or not. If that matches, it is a different story. If it doesn't match, that is a different story altogether. Either case, you will become mature. But don't keep falling in love. Rise in love! In love, you don't expect anything in return. If you want something in return, don't call it love. Then that's need. In a relationship there is a need, but there is no need in love. Love is your very nature. If it sounds too philosophical for now, just keep it in the background and relax. One day you will understand, when your heart breaks or when you realize you expected something too much, something will pop up from the background of the mind and try to save you.

Meaning of Diwali

“A single lamp is not enough, and we have to light the lamp in every field. Let the light shine on spiritual, social, financial and all other fields -- this is the message for Diwali." Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, founder of The Art of Living, greeted people with this message during Diwali celebrations 2010. He also mentioned that Diwali is a time to start afresh, "While involving in daily activities, we do get upset with each other, we get upset and we make others also upset. But how long can you burn in that fire? Diwali is a time to drop everything and start afresh. That is why in this region, Diwali is immediately followed by the New Year. So, on this occasion my wish for everybody is to have the light of wisdom and spirituality in their lives, and the waves of joy keep rising in all hearts." Diwali or Deepavali is the festival of lights in the Indian subcontinent. Greeting each other and singing with each other, we light the lamps on Diwali and celebrate.

Read more at http://www.artofliving.org/what-sri-sri-said-today.

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